


A Small Subset of the Texts Received by Christopher Robert Evans on September 12, 2020

by viklikesfic (v_angelique)



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Chris Evans' Accidental Dick Pick, Dick Pics, Humor, M/M, Mistakes, Social Media, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26470693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_angelique/pseuds/viklikesfic
Summary: I'm sorry.But my phone helpfully informed me about the news of the accidental dick pic share and I simultaneously burst out laughing and had my heart go out to this poor schmoe who just wants to show the Internet pictures of his dog. And then I saw folks going "well we don't know that it's HIS dick, do we?" and thought "...even better."So here is one interpretation of what might have happened.
Relationships: Anthony Mackie/Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Comments: 35
Kudos: 250





	A Small Subset of the Texts Received by Christopher Robert Evans on September 12, 2020

**Author's Note:**

> FYI, if you hide creator's style, this story will be harder to read. Recommend turning that setting off temporarily!

Shanna  
  
OMG, delete your last IG story NOW  
  
What? Why?  
  
JUST DO IT.  
  
Okay, okay. Done. What's up?  
  
...you don't have social media notifications turned on, do you?  
  
your camera roll was in the video. WITH A DICK PIC IN IT.  
  
Oh, shit. Do you think anyone saw?  
  
baby bro. Chris. my favorite sibling. i am so sorry.  
  


ScarJo  
  
Wow. Even MY mentions are blowing up. Sucks to be you today.  
  
Can't talk. At the bottom of a hole.  
  
On the plus side, you know how to work your angles.  
  
Deep breaths, this too shall pass.  
  
Also, you're a man, so probably you'll mostly get compliments.   
  


C. Pratt  
  
Gee, man, thanks for bumping me off the "Most Popular Chris on the Internet" spot today.  
  
Were you ever actually in that spot?  
  
Cold. Ice cold.  
  


Tom Holland  
  
Do you want an Instagram lesson? Seriously, not joking man. I'm here to help.  
  
Honestly, maybe. I may just give up.  
  
NO.  
  
How will Dodger fans cope??  
  
That pupper gets me through my week.  
  
That may be the nicest thing anyone's said to me today. Thanks, kid.  
  


RDJ  
  
you ok?  
  
I'll survive. Thanks for checking.  
  
been there. ask ur publicist for help next time.  
  


Scott  
  
I will literally never stop laughing. Congratulations.  
  
You are such a dick.  
  
Maybe. But mine's not ON THE INTERNET.  
  
I will Tweet about you and Jody Hannigan's mom and send Jody the link JUST WATCH ME.  
  
All right, you win. This time. Hey! Maybe this will cheer people up. Yesterday was 9/11. 9/12 can now be the National Day of Chris's Dick.  
  
...  
  


Mark Ruffalo  
  
hey, hope you're all right.  
  
Ish. May never use social media again?  
  
at least Marvel can't threaten to sue you for this kind of gaffe.  
  
(by the way, I didn't see it. i should've clarified.)  
  
honestly the main downside is that unlike full frontal in a film, you're not gonna get paid...  
  
Trust me, today? I've had offers.  
  


Mackie  
  
...wait. Isn't that Seb's dick?  
  
How would YOU know?  
  
Dude, how do you think I know?  
  
Dude.  
  
Dude... you warned your boy that his dick's on Twitter yet?  
  
I hate you.  
  
I just love that everyone's assuming you're hung like that, Cap.  
  
Wouldn't you like to know?  
  


Seb  
  
So...are you still speaking to me?  
  
Or, ya know. Doing things that aren't speaking to me?  
  
i just can't believe my dick is on the internet and someone else got all the credit. my moment in the spotlight, rudely stolen.  
  
(yes.)  
  
(never sexting you, though. EVER.)  
  



End file.
